The Hubris of Conservative Christianity
This is priceless… the funniest thing I have heard all day is not a joke! (Thanks to Huffington Post for bringing this to my attention.)
The Conservative Bible Project is literally re-writing the Bible.
What is all this about? How could fundamentalist Bible-thumpers find objection to their own most sacred text?
Well, the Conservatives are mad! They are upset that the Bible is too liberal; so they intend to rectify “liberal bias” in modern translations through studious word substitution. For one thing, apparently they think modern translations are “emasculated” by “gender inclusive language.” They can’t take it any more; so it is their stated intent to
identify pro-liberal terms used in existing Bible translations, such as “government”, and suggest more accurate substitutes
Additionally, they think it is crucial to re-write the Bible to better express the “numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning.” Perhaps they want to re-write the passage where Jesus trashes the money-changers’ tables at the Temple; instead they could show Jesus talking about the holiness of compound interest and the evils of regulation.
Furthermore, they argue that
defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”
and that it is the purpose of their project to update
words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.
Oh, I see; the problem with the Bible is its use of the liberal word “peace.” Good conservatives would never want to see that filthy word in print; so clearly all Biblical references to “peace” should be replaced with something more suitable… like “pre-emptive strike!”
It goes on and on… One example they cite as “liberal falsehood” is the passage, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
No word yet on the Garden of Eden…
Gimme an H! Gimme a U! Gimme a B! Gimme an R! Gimme an I! Gimme an S! What’s that spell? What’s that spell?